I Love Rednecks

Wait, wait, wait, let me explain, m'kay?

All of you know that I'm from Texas. My roots are purely southern, and I'm damn proud of it. I drink sweet tea and talk with a touch of twang and a dash of drawl. However, just because I talk slower than say, a New Yorker, doesn't make me stupid. And I'm not a redneck. But, boy, do I love the rednecks.

Now, here's the thing, being a redneck, in my opinion, has nothing to do with where you're from, it has to do with your upbringing and your lifestyle. I fully believe there are rednecks living in Ohio. And last I checked, Ohio wasn't a southern state.

Anyhillbilly, last Saturday CMT premiered a show called Bayou Billionaires. And it's pure, redneck gold. I'm so in love.

Here's the story line, this family from Shreveport is gas rich. That's kinda like oil rich, but with a gas well. Duh. There's a husband and wife, and they have four kids who are all married and have kids themselves. So, after hitting the natural gas money pot, they did what any true American would do, they went and bought stuff. A bunch of stuff. Vehicles, a pool, a hot tub, horses, and one even got new teeth. Yes, new teeth. And she *loves* her new teeth. And yet, despite being filthy rich, a couple of the kids still live in 1987 model trailers. That's a mobile home for all you folk who don't speak redneck. They just don't want to forget where they came from. Or, so I would imagine, because that's the only reason I could think of as to why you'd stay in an old trailer when you could afford a new house. Or at least a new trailer.

So if, by chance, you find yourself at home on Saturday night, and there's nothing to watch around 8pm CST, flip on over to CMT and check out this family. Just don't blame me when you start talking with an accent and putting creole seasoning on everything.