Lately I've been reflecting on my life a lot. On the decisions I've made, the paths that have brought me to where I am today, and the people who have been there beside me for the journey. And the ones who haven't.
It's funny how you get to a point one day, and you realize there are people in your life that haven't done you any good, and you've got to cut them loose. Maybe they've held you back and kept you from being who you're really supposed to be. Or maybe you've been holding on to them because they remind you of better times. That was my problem. But then one day, it hits you like a pile of bricks, and just like that, you realize you've got to let them go.
I like to think that every person who has been a part of my life has taught me something, has helped me become the person I am today. But not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some may be in your life for the blink of an eye, yet still make a lasting impression on you.
I was driving home from my mom's the other night, M was asleep in the backseat, and I suddenly started thinking about an old friend of mine. In the last few months we've grown farther and farther apart, and I started to get upset about the fact that we really don't talk that often anymore. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how toxic the friendship had really been. In the beginning we were great friends, but as we grew older and we changed from kids into adults, our friendship became something that was a burden to the both of us. I didn't miss my friend, I missed the way things used to be. After I got home and put M to bed, I started catching up on my reader, and came across a post over on Marc and Angel Hack Life. It was all about letting go of toxic things in your life. As I read through the list, I realized there was a reason I came across that post. I felt like it was God's way of telling me that I was right, I needed to let go of my old friend. One line stuck with me the most, "The world changes when you change." I had changed, and so had everything around me. The time had come to evaluate my life and decide what could go forward with me, and what needed to be left behind.
I have a wonderful life now, right here in the present. I shouldn't miss things that are in the past. I should cut my ties and move on. It's just a lot easier said than done.
12 comments:
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Thanks for sharing that link. It is so important to know that it is okay to let go. Almost a year ago I stopped hanging out with a group of friends. All they did was go out and drink and they brought their personal issues on everyone around them. It was so draining. One day, I had enough and just walked away.
This is why I love you so! Great post. :)
I had someone like that in my life, too. It is difficult to realize you miss the way things were, but also know it can never be that way again. It took me years, but I'm glad to be at this point now, too!
I've just started cutting toxic people and things loose. Its a bitter sweet feeling, but I need to be who I am now rather than dwell on who I was.
Great post :)
I am going through this exact same thing right now. Someone I have been friends with since we were sophomores in high school I'm having to cut ties with because the friendship isn't real anymore. It's sad, but hopefully we can make new friends in time.
Been there. It was so hard, at first. I would move away and then pull it back..because I missed the old friendship (when we were kids, essentially). I kept trying and hoping it would be like it was, but it never was. And I finally decided to let it go when I realized that we no longer had anything to talk about, nothing but the past...and that wasn't enough to save this friendship.
It's not just friendships. It old hobbies/habits, seasons of our lives...I can relate so much to this. God has delivered me into my promised land. My right here and now is AWESOME. So why do I grieve all the yuck he delivered me from? I love "the world changes when you change." I've changed too. So much in fact I hardly recognize the girl I was several years ago. I think the key to moving on is asking God for help and trusting He knows what's best. Thanks for sharing!
this is a great post! we've all had those people in our lives and it hurts but sometimes, in the end, it's just better to let go.
Its sad when friends drift apart but sometimes its necessary to create the happy inside.
This is so true! I was hanging on to some of my friends because I felt like "I had to" and I didn't know things any differently. But life goes on and I feel so much better about myself not having negative people around.
I really enjoyed reading this. I think just about everyone can relate. The world really does change when you change. I'm a firm believer that people are in our lives to teach us certain things- some stay a while, some forever, and others we simply pass by. But we give parts of ourselves and learn from everyone we meet. Thanks for posting these lovely words!
xoxo
Ariel
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